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Red Sox, Roddick, Romo and Rafa: Overcoming Contraints to Win

Last night the devastation unfolded – the Red Sox lost their wild card run in the 9th inning with two outs, only four minutes after the Rays completed a 0-7 comeback to defeat the Yankees 8-7. The Red Sox season is over after having the worst September in franchise history, or 7-20 to be exact. How could a team with so much talent and such a huge payroll ($160 million, or 3rd highest in the league) have such an epic downfall?

The analysts immediately have the answers, or at least the right questions. What went wrong? Was there dissension in the clubhouse? Was Francona to blame? What will happen to the free agents?

After a rather disappointing year and loss at the US Open, TV analysts had many questions for Andy Roddick, including an explanation of his performance and prediction of the future. In fact, he had a rather amusing comeback, I thought. He claimed that anyone can be an expert when it comes to analyzing  a tennis match. Specifically, if something is working, that’s what is good. If and it’s not working, he/she should have done the other thing.

Tony Romo has gone from from “choking” in the Cowboys’ first game of the season to pulling out two consecutive victories in the clutch, despite cracked ribs and punctured lungs. Can the TV analysts explain how he went from “soft” to “brave” all in a matter of days?

We can all be experts when we’re examining someone else’s performance, but what if the spotlight is on us?

Last week I read a lovely post written by Rajesh Setty – Why MOST smart people are better at solving other people’s problems. Raj suggests the person with the problem has many constraints (e.g., lack of confidence, pitching without adequate rest, a cracked rib, illnesses) that the observant smart person can’t see or understand. Operating without these constraints, the smart person can more easily see a solution to the problem.

So how do some people overcome pain, illness and epic slides to win – while others do not?

As Rajesh admits in his post, we all have problems. Whether we’re a pro athlete or regular person, problems are a part of life. If we focus on the physical constraints, the unforced errors, and the missed opportunities, it’s hard to overcome the problems, even is a smart person can rationalize the winning strategy.

Last night, the Rays overcame a 7 point deficit in two innings to beat a solid Yankees team. Maybe Evan Longoria and the rest of the team had a resolve or confidence that no one could shake.

Romo’s ability to throw game winning passes goes far beyond painkillers, at least in my opinion.

Maria Sharapova has one of the best 3rd-game winning records on the tour. Apparently, she has a bad memory and can “let go” of mistakes to focus on the moment at hand.

I just got the new book by Rafael Nadal, entitled Rafa, and the back cover states: “During a match, you are in a permanent battle to fight back your everyday vulnerabilities, bottle up your human feelings. The more bottled they are, the greater your changes of winning, so long as you’ve trained as hard as you play and the gap in talent is not too wide between you and your rival….It’s a kind of self-hypnosis, a game you play, with deadly seriousness, to disguise your own weakness from yourself, as well as your rival.”

How many stories of successful business people start with defeat, demise and personal devastation?

I am not sure how or why some people are destined for greatness, but maybe it’s a combination of self-confidence, a will to win, focus, an ability to block out constraints and who knows what else.

But like Papelbon said after the game last night, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

That’s a good start, at least.

Photo courtesy of Huffington Post.

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Seeing Signs (Or Not)

This past week, our family watched Bruce Almighty. I have personally seen this flick no less than ten times, but it never ceases to entertain me and humor me. And of course, I always cry at the end.

In addition to Evan’s blubbery remarks while anchoring the news, one of my favorite aspects of the movie is the homeless character (who later morphs into “God” or Morgan Freeman) who holds signs throughout Bruce Nolan’s many trials and tribulations.

Do you often wish someone would hold up a sign on the side of the road to help drive some of your big decisions? I know I do! Especially when it comes to the biggies like career, family, home, etc.

Sometimes it can be difficult to handle all of life’s many responsibilities and challenges alone. Whether you believe in a Higher Power or not, you may have sought guidance somewhere along the line to make the right decision(s). Especially in times of stress or duress, it can be helpful to seek signs to lead you down the right path.

But like Jim Carrey’s character in the movie, would you notice the signs if they were planted in your front yard? I am often too busy rushing from one responsibility to the next to take notice of what’s happening right in front of me. Either that or I’ve developed sturdy expectations that are hard to tear down. When I do slow down and let go, I often get frustrated that answers to my questions are not so immediate or obvious.

On Oprah’s very last episode, she claimed (and I summarize!) that whenever she had an important decision to make, she prayed and found the answers. The only wrong decisions she’d made were the result of not taking the time to listen.

Though I admire and appreciate her words, I don’t find solutions or signs that easy to find. If I close my eyes to meditate or pray about a certain issue in my life, I rarely have surreal visions, light bulbs flashing or bells ‘a ringing. Sure, slowing down and thinking about things in my life (if I can slow down my mind long enough to concentrate on anything) is beneficial in and of itself. But I can’t say that I see signs all that terribly often.

What I can say with certainty, however, is that things have a magical way of working out – even if the timeline is a bit slower than I’d like. Particularly after a troubling or major life decision, I can look back and see how the solution unfolded masterfully, often without my noticing. Our life’s events usually have a master plan, even if we don’t recognize them when in progress.

Jane Lynch, star of the hit TV show Glee, is currently promoting her book called Happy Accidents. In a recent interview, I heard her say that many of her successes and gifts have been the result of happy accidents, as suggested by the book’s title. Doors were opened when she least expected them because she was doing her best to focus on the now, or the moments in front of her.

Isn’t that what “signs” are all about anyway? Maybe we all see them more clearly than we think. Or maybe we shouldn’t stress out so much about which direction to choose at that fork in the road, when instead, we should enjoy the path we’re on now.

I don’t have the magical powers of Bruce Almighty, but my instincts and Faith have guided me pretty well along the path of life.

You’re probably seeing the signs, too, even if they seem invisible at the time.

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Monitoring the Pace of Life

When I ran my last marathon in Seattle, I forgot my Garmin. I was truly panicked as I rely on this device to track my pace – make sure I’m not going too fast or too slow to reach my goal. I’m realizing now, with a little break in the work schedule, a Garmin might come in handy to monitor my life’s pace. Or would it?

I recently lost a marketing contract job that I really enjoyed because HP decided to dump the entire Palm division, the one for whom I was working. Given that I had just secured a contract extension, I was surprised by the announcement and left without a back-up employment plan. As such, I’ve had an extension of my end-of-summer un-paid vacation leave.

The first few weeks of “freedom” were spent checking off items on my rather lengthy TO DO list which had been denied much love and attention. From catching up on the accounting books to getting my second book off to the publisher, it has been so nice to complete some of these well overdue tasks.

Meanwhile, I have begun some low-budget house projects (because wouldn’t you know it, you have the time when you don’t have the money and the money when you don’t have the time). I’ve been ripping down shower doors, patching holes in drywall (suffered during shower door removal) and learning how to use my husband’s drill, among other things.

Another observation I’ve had is my ability to be a pretty darn good house-wife if given the time. Not only have I been better at organizing my son’s schedule and facilitating his homework, but I’m keeping the house tidier, preparing delicious dinners stress-free and even baking desserts.

I feel like someone just handed me this big golden platter of TIME, and I am enjoying it far more than I ever envisioned I would. Rather than stressing out about the next paid contract that is going to come my way, I’m trying to enjoy these precious moments I have to myself.

In fact, just the other day, Luke said to me, “Mom, I am so sorry you have to be home by yourself!” And I quickly responded, “Don’t be! I’m loving every minute of it.”

During my “down-time,” I have realized how hard I pushed myself during the last 6-8 months. Apparently, I’d lost my “Garmin for Life” and kept the pace a bit too fast for too long a period of time. Sure, a 30 hour/week contract job may not sound too stressful on the surface. But when you throw in maintaining a blog, working on two books, building a new website (work still in process), captaining a tennis team and running a marathon, plus all the other stuff it takes to run a household, the schedule starts to look a little overwhelming.

So why can’t I – and many other overachievers like myself – realize when the pace is too fast for too many miles? I suppose the occasional illness is a nice reminder, but otherwise I’m oblivious to the pain of being “overworked.” With or without a gadget to track my progress or setbacks, I often fail to observe my own reality. Even when friends or family take note.

During the Seattle marathon, without the trusted Garmin, I tried to pace myself according to how I felt. When I felt good, I sped up a bit. When I was feeling tired, I slowed down. At the end, I still reached my goal, even without special devices, because I listened to my body and reacted accordingly.

Now if I could just learn how to use this safe and effective monitoring process when I’m not running marathons!

If you suffer the same affliction that I do – working too hard, fitting too much into the schedule and taking very few breaks to rest and recover – then try my marathon strategy.

Listen to your body. If you’re feeling great, speed up and enjoy the ride. When you are overworked, tired or stressed – take a break. Slow down. Enjoy some of life’s small, sweet treasures that you may be missing midst a hurried pace.

You can still reach your goals without a gadget to dictate your pace.

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What if you were someone else?

Are you living your dream? Or do you have secret moments when you envision yourself as a famous movie star or politician? Come on! Admit it, there’s a moment or two when you might like to walk in a new pair of shoes, sport a totally different wardrobe or learn a new tune that’s a departure from the one you usually sing!

Though I am quite contented with my existing lifestyle and ambitions, I do have moments when I ask “What if?” I had it to do all over again. Here are four paths I might have pursued.

What secret life would you lead?

A TV Sports Commentator. I just finished reading the book, Those Guys Have All the Fun, Inside the World of ESPN, and was reminded of how much I enjoy sports. Not that I needed a book to remind me. When I’m sitting at a party, I frequently find myself in the middle of ‘boy’ talk, because I like to talk sports. I can generally hold my own when discussing basketball and football with most men and I enjoy heated discussions, controversies and banter. I enjoy watching games and beating the commentators to their punch lines (which I often do).

I think my aspiration is to be the Erin Andrews of basketball. Only I would have to carry out a full body makeover in order to pull this one off!

A country music star. When I was in high school, I used to drive around town blasting the Go Go’s, secretly wishing I was one. Years later, I wanted to be a Dixie Chick. Today, I’d be an Avett Sister, if there were such a person. Though I’m not sure I’d like living out of a bus, I think it would be lots of fun to perform on stage and actually be talented enough to do so.

Now I should admit that I can’t play a musical instrument and Luke tells me at least once/day what a terrible singer I am, but every girl can dream.

A pro athlete. But the question is what sport? Though I’d love to run (and look like) Kara Goucher, I’m not sure I could handle the pressure and pain of running fast each day. And though I enjoy tennis immensely and aspire to be much better than I am, I’m scarred from reading Andre Agassi’s book Open, in which he eloquently depicts the harsh and lonely life of a singles player.

I’m such a bad softball player, I can’t even fathom playing that sport professionally. So this leaves me with two possibilities: 1) soccer, despite the fact I have only played the sport recreationally and can’t even kick a ball, and 2) mountain biking, which is far more realistic because it’s something I’m actually good at! If someone had given me hills, a pump park and a bike at a young age, I’ve no doubts I would be an expert cyclist today. Of course, I’m suck a klutz that I’d probably spend half my career in a cast.

A Famous Author. For all intents and purposes, I suppose I could still be one of these. But I need to sell a helluva lot more books than I have sold to date to come close to being famous. I don’t think Elizabeth Gilbert or JK Rowling have anything to fear!

Since I was a small child, I have always perceived the life of an author to be a noble one. Even the title “author” carries so much prestige. It seems like a great way to be famous without the needless glamour of actors or famous athletes.  And though I’m far from being famous, I can honestly say I love to write and experience great gratification from putting creative thoughts on paper.

Even if I continue to be the same ‘ole me, though, I’m not to disappointed.

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“My favorite things about vacation”

As much as I love summer, I enjoy vacation even more.

After a week of peace and relaxation at Michigan’s Crystal Lake, where Grandpa and Grandma spend their summers, I asked Luke his top ten favorite things about vacation.

His response was:

“Jumping in the water” (which he did at least 10 different times each day, regardless of the weather)

“Driving the boat”

“Seeing the dogs” (Grandma and Grandpa’s schnauzers who were overjoyed when Luke left)

“I love my grandparents”

“Going to the beach – actually this was my very favorite thing”

“Angry Birds Rio” (purchased for $1, from his personal stash of money earned while on the trip, thanks to Grandma and the recycled bottles)

“Golfing” (at two of Beulah’s finest putt-putt centers)

“Sleeping in the ‘dream bed’” (Dad’s gallant effort at getting Luke to sleep in his bed and not ours)

“Riding (in the tube) behind the boat”

“Don’t really have ten, just nine”

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