To get the week off to a light and relaxing start (in part because I still enjoying my mini-vacation), I thought I’d share a topic of conversation among my girlfriends recently (over a few glasses of wine, I might add).

In a deep discussion of the men in our lives, we all laughed and admitted how our definition of sexy has EVOLVED over the years. But before I share my own thoughts, I thought I would share the opinion of a few others I have met over the Internet (and hopefully one day can meet over wine as well).

What makes a man sexy?

In the twenties…..

Julie Bream, who made a wonderful contribution to “The Many Benefits of Running With Dogs” and shares her thoughts on living and eating healthy via her blog Peanut Butter Fingers, had this to say:

My definition of a sexy man is someone who is loving and not afraid to be their own person. A guy with a sense of humor and a sense of adventure is always sexy! I’m also a sucker for tall, athletic guys who are driven and ambitious. Some big ol’ biceps never hurt either.

In the thirties…..

Dena Harris, star marathoner who loves cats and writes about a variety of topics on “Why Aren’t I in Charge,” gave us her definition:

I think what makes a man sexy is a sense of humor and especially having the confidence to laugh at himself. Being able to produce dark chocolate on demand also doesn’t hurt.

My list for the Top 5 Things That Make a Man Sexy Are:

• Holds in-depth conversations with the dog/cat
• Cleans the house
• Is confident enough not to be jealous of my time spent with girlfriends, male friends, or alone time
• Holds my hand
• Knows when the tighty-whites have seen better days and moves on

In the forties…..

Love2EatinPA, who offers heartfelt confessions of a recovering compulsive eater (and currently training for a triathlon!), offers her thoughts on sexy:

In my late 20’s i realized that while looks and body were nice, what really mattered was what was on the inside – a great personality, sense of humor, being treated well by him, how he treated other people.

Now in my early forties, a man (ok, my husband!) is sexy to me because he a great father – very patient, a great listener, a great sense of humor, has sexy crinkles around the outside corners of his eyes when he smiles, has a zest for life and is so good to his friends and family.

In the fifties…..

Jody, fitness enthusiast who inspires others a daily basis through her advice and encouragement, responded as follows:

Well, Melinda, thank you for asking this 52 going on 53 year old lady this question! Yes, we still like sex & sexy at this age …. I hope for years to come too!!! (It may be more “problematic” now due to “the change of life” but we are not dead!

For me, being married for almost 27 years, some of the things that make a man sexy now are still the same for me as when I was young. I always liked a man with a sense of humor, treated me with respect and as an equal and was deep down a very good person … to me, this is sexy. Looks were never the main ingredient for me then or now but I did/do prefer a person that at least tries to care about his physical self, meaning being active & fairly decent shape. That does not mean it has to be muscles & all… just cares enough to be healthy.

All this did and still matters to me….. my husband fit the bill then & now. He always treated me as an equal, but did & still does want to open doors for me. He had children from another marriage & stayed completely and totally involved with them from the youngest age to now as grown adults. That tells you a lot about a man. And yes, he has a great sense of humor! All this & although he is not into the gym & weights like I am, he likes to stay active & in shape. Nobody ever guesses his correct age!

Now for my thoughts on the matter….

In my twenties, I must admit I frequently intertwined the definition of sexy with good-looking. A dazzling smile and twinkle in the eye, along with a really good sense of humor, were the qualities that won me over. (At this point, hair wasn’t even a consideration).

Moving into my thirties, I stuck to my original definition but also started to admire men who were really fit (and especially ones who could keep up with me on a mountain bike). I found funny men sexy, good dancers a dream, and I really liked the guys who still had a full head of hair.

Now in my forties, it’s an issue of substance. Sexy and good-looking is no longer about the outside, but instead about the inside. A bald man is just as sexy as one with a head of hair, and laughter is a non-negotiable. BIG BONUS POINTS for taking out the trash, unloading the dishwasher and cleaning the bathroom. There’s nothing sexier than a man who has a vacuum or toilet bowl cleaner in his hand.

In my fifties, well, I’m not there yet. But I can only hope I have as wonderful a definition as Jody provided above.

Thanks for everyone’s contributions. Now what’s YOUR definition of sexy?

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2. Karen@WaistingTime

   
   07/19 2010

   I so agree with you! The older we get, it seems the less the packaging matters. Who he is and what he does all add up to (if we are lucky) sexy. But there is that look that my husband sometimes gets with a smile that makes the outsides of his eyes crinkle in just a certain way:)

3. Jody - Fit at 52

   
   07/19 2010

   Melinda.. I LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thx so much for including me & I loved what everyone else had to say. Humor seems to be a big part of it too!
   

4. Jill

   
   07/20 2010

   I would have to say about my fiance (besides the fact that he is VERY good looking) what hit me was his personality, We clicked from the minute we passed IM’s/emails back and forth (yes we met online!) and even now being engaged to him for 4 years nothing has changed! We are SO much in love!