Grocery Shopping Adventures (Of Our Spouses)
My mom sent me this video of Jeanne Robertson the other day and I was laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face. I love my husband, but like Jeanne, sending him to the grocery store for our weekly run can sometimes be unpredictable and problematic.
As brief background, we conduct our big shopping trips at a Boise-based chain called Winco. Though the food is dramatically less expensive than at other markets in town, the stores are gigantic, half of city’s population is always shopping there, and you have to bag your own groceries. I walk out of there in a sweat every time I go, completely exhausted from the experience. It’s impossible to get in and out of the store and back home in less than one hour. Just looking at the photo below makes me shudder.
That’s why I beg my husband, Rob, to shop for me every now and then. And though I love my husband (did I already mention this?) and appreciate his efforts, sometimes I have to laugh at what he brings home (or forgets to get), and how long these trips actually take him. (Hint: Longer than the trips take me.)
Have any of you experienced these spousal shopping symptoms?
Short notice. Usually Rob tells me with little notice, “I’m going to the grocery store in five minutes and I need a list.” Now as you might guess, there’s no way I can do a week or two of meal planning and create a thought-provoking, meaningful list in five minutes – I’m simply not that smart or fast. As a result, I create a half ass list using half a brain, get what I ask for, and make second and third trips to the grocery store later in the week to get what wasn’t gotten the first time around.
Out of order. Rob is not exactly speedy at the grocery store, whether it’s the Winco or local organic market. But if my list isn’t organized by aisle of the grocery store, then there’s the risk of turning his grocery visit into an all-day affair. Especially if bread is the first item on the list and carrots second and these two items are located at opposite ends of the store (and items 3 / 4 and 5 / 6 and so on). As you might guess, short notice (#1 above) dramatically impedes my ability to build a list that’s logically organized.
Count on it. If I don’t specify exactly how much I need of what, there’s no tellin’ how much of what I’ll get. One time recently, I put “mushrooms” on the list, and he brought home enough white button mushrooms to feed the whole neighborhood. On the flip side, if I write down “onions” or “lemons,” items we use in abundance, he’ll buy one of each. And likewise with “wine,” he always buys one bottle whether he’s shopping for the night, week or month. And it’s been a long time since one bottle of wine lasted longer than 48 hours in our household!
This, too, shall perish. The other thing I can’t quite figure out is why he gets so much of something that will perish in two days. For example, he’ll get enough bananas for five families, half of which I throw away (but I’m learning to freeze them). And rather than buying a range of avocados – ones from ripe to firm, so that we can them eat over a period of a week — he’ll buy five that are half rotten (“that’s all they had”). And it kills me to throw away the veggie of the gods.
Tunnel vision. Regardless of who’s making the list or doing the shopping in our family, we all forget something. But when I shop, I usually remember what we’re out of when I see it at the store. For example, I’ll walk down the baked goods idea and remember we’re out of flour. Or I’ll be in the refrigerator section and remember we need yogurt or sour cream. That is simply not how Rob’s mind works. If it’s not on the list, forget about it.
Spell it out. Admittedly, I’m picky at times. Ok, most of the time. I like 1% organic milk and extra large natural or organic eggs. First cold pressed olive oil and dark sesame oil. Unsalted butter. Not a big fan of brown bananas and strongly prefer Italian pasta. And most importantly, I really like toilet paper that doesn’t hurt when you wipe. If I don’t specifically write down, “Ultra soft TP,” I’ve got a rough couple of weeks ahead, literally.
Well, that’s enough beatin’ up Rob for one day. Even if the shopping trip is less than perfect, it’s better than having to do it myself. And least he tries.
I have also created this Meal Planner and Grocery List to help alleviate some of the issues (above). Please feel free to download and let me know if it helps you – or your spouse!
Photo courtesy of Winco Foods.
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