13 Memorable Tips for the Forgetful Parent
I’m the type who loses my keys at least once a day, forgets something every time I walk out the door, and leaves something behind every time I travel anywhere. Even after listening to the same tunes through training and running three marathons, I can’t remember to put new songs on my iPod. It’s a good thing I have dogs who slide their bowls across the floor if I forget to feed them.
Does this sound like you? As we juggle more responsibilities – from kids’ homework assignments to our own work deadlines – our memories may start to diminish. Though I’ve given up on keeping it all together in my own life, I’m determined that my forgetfulness will not affect my son’s life. Here are some tips for staying on top of parenting that have worked successfully for me. As well from Michelle Lee, a mother of four who writes at The Adventures of Supermom, and Debi Silber, The Mojo Coach with four kids and four dogs, who have clearly mastered the art of organization better than I!
Hire a dependable nanny. I’m convinced our former nanny, Shirley, was Mother Teresa reincarnated in Boise, ID. Not only did she take masterful care of our beloved son, Luke, at home; but she remembered all of his (and our) commitments, assignments, events and memorabilia at pre-school. Now that Luke has moved onto kindergarten, we miss her dearly and have to explore other avenues to replace that section of our brains she filled for so many years.
Surround yourself with organized friends. Our friends are amazing at remembering important things for us. For example, they print out the soccer schedule and highlight games in advance of the season. That way, on Saturday morning right before games start, when we can’t find the schedule in our email inbox, we can text them to find out what time Luke plays. They even lend us shin guards when we can’t find ours.
Pick up and put up. Michelle has a motto I am going to work hard to adopt: “‘Make it happy, find it a home.’ My kids know this very well. I take the time every single day to pick up and put every single thing where it belongs so the mess doesn’t start. On non-cleaning days I do a 10-Minute Tidy. Add a 10-Minute after dinner tidy and you are set. Then I am able to rest and relax with the ones that mean the most, my family.”
Reward your children for remembering things (or threaten them if they don’t, whichever your parenting philosophy). This is actually something I’m just starting to try, in hopes that I can use a six year old brain to pinch hit for my own. But I am afraid he has inherited my genes.
Don’t wait till the last minute. Though we are nearly incapable of this, I can only imagine how helpful it might be to plan play dates, babysitters and vacations in advance. (Of course, that would also necessitate that you remember what to plan).
Place reminders, flyers and other notifications on highly prominent bulletin boards. We actually have a bulletin board placed above our kitchen banquette just for this purpose. However, since I missed our assigned day to bring snacks for Luke’s class at school (again) last week, I must be misplacing the flyers before I actually use them. Kerry Simpkins, author of Mom Needs a Break, has some great ideas for calendaring as a means to keep the family more organized. Also, Asha Dornfest provides suggestions for creating a possibilities calendar.
Create lists. I live and breathe by lists, especially when I don’t lose them. Which I usually do, at least when I actually need them.
Use your smartphone. My successful entrepreneurial friend Bill once told me his four letter secret to staying organized – PALM. Though I was blessed with three years of exciting assignments and smartphone prototypes from former client, HTC, I am now drinking the iPhone Koolaid. If you tend to input most of our priorities into a computer, just remember to sync. (With a loud and obnoxious reminder alarm, it works!).
And other technology. But don’t let technology take control of you. Henrik Edberg, author of the Positivity Blog, has some great ideas for online habits that keep his life simpler. And for those of you addicted to texting like I am, here are some ideas for using texting to make your life easier.
Just say no. Sometimes, to manage your time and priorities, you have to save time for yourself. Debi suggests, ”Do what’s important and let the rest go. Burn the “supermom cape” because it’s way too stressful and exhausting to try to do it all and do it all well. Yes, it’s possible to do it all but not at the same time! Some things may need to be let go of in order to to other things. And that’s OK. Strive for progress, not perfection and never, ever, ever compare yourself to anyone else. Their needs, lifestyle, situation is completely different than yours and while something may work for someone, it doesn’t mean it will work for you. Also, that person is showing you what they want you to see, which unfortunately, may not be the entire truth.
Let it go. When it comes to staying organized, Michelle says it’s important to know when to let go: “Did you get a stinky perfume as a gift? Why are you still hanging onto it? Did you love that lipstick color at the store and HATE it now? Why are you still hanging onto it? You should only have things that you currently use. As in every day.”
Trust your intuition. Debi has some wonderful wisdom to impart on this one: “It knows you best, knows what’s best for you if you’d only pay attention. Yes, everyone else may be signing up their kids for every class/club available but if your gut tells you that you/your kids need the downtime-even if it’s just to play quietly, snuggle, etc. go with that and don’t feel the need to make excuses for your decisions.”
Slow down. Easier said than done, I know. But if we stop, slow down and live in the moment, we’ll smell the roses and remember things better, too. I’m trying. Really I am.
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